Ive been quite agitated these days. I dont know why....I have no stress, finances are good, art's good, friends are great....I dont know what my problem is but i cant seem to fully relax. My meditation practice has gone down hill. I might get 5 minutes in....hardly meditating but better than nothing. My sleep has been not as restful as I'd like......presence is harder to stay with....and i have no reason for this agitation.
So whats a girl to do.....well, i think ill go back to basics. There is obviously something going on that is disrupting my flow but its not obvious or on the surface. Thats ok. I dont always need to know the answers. What i do need to do is trust. Trust that even if i dont have the answers im going in the right direction and my body is figuring something out.
So i'll give myself some tools to move forward. Starting with 10 Rules to live by, thats always a great way to start. I get laxxed on some of my rules, as we all would, so i'll be more diligent. Next....i'll up my work outs. This helps me release pressure, and keep an energy flow going. It will also help me sleep deeper because my body will not have the energy to stay awake.
Another thing im going to do is limit my texting. Sounds weird but if im texting a lot with no intent, just wanting to connect or just have a texting conversation etc. i find this ramps up my agitation. When my phone is not disrupting me through out the day then i have access to more stillness and peace. Haven't you noticed than when that beep goes off your heart rate goes up? So imagine this happening continually through out the day for no purpose. Just basic chit chat. We are stimulated like Pavlov's dog with our phones. Its an automatic response to a stimulus. Good info or blank info from that text, we get the same response. And why do we need that constant connection? Is it really helping us?
Texting is great for many things. And its a fast track to communication. Don't get me wrong, its a great tool. But when it becomes a stimulus that is not providing anything, just distraction then what's the purpose of that. Its not beneficial to our overall health. And i think the bigger question is..."why do i want to be distracted?". Sometimes we simply create a habit we havent realized, but sometimes maybe we need to look at the situation and really ask, have i created this habit to distract myself from myself? Food for thought. I know im going to be switching off for period's of time right now. I'm definitely distracting myself from myself. I wanna know what my bodies trying to tell me and i wont figure this out with Pavlovian responses....